My, what strong arms. Verbs are our friends. And we practiced for six minutes! I'm not your personal doormat. Was I about to take the Big Sleep? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: That's one month longer than they taught it to me. I could hear him sobbing in his suspension chamber. Steve Urkel: I don't have to take this! [Eddie, Clarence and Steve are arrested by the police for theft.]. Where do I sign? When I said my feelings for you might change, I was lying. It was right in your favorite spot. Steve Urkel: No, I don't like to disturb anyone. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Ooh, that's nice! Stefan Urkelle: Oh no, I didn't shut off the machine on time. Steve Urkel: Because, I love you love you love you! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [Opens Diary] January 1, We had a wonderful New Years Eve party, except Carl got sick and threw up in the living room. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Well, how did you miss it? 89. Gun, Carl. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: What're you so happy about? Steve Urkel: Oh, nothing. Steve Urkel: [ice pack on his head from a hangover, Carl just told him a story from his drinking days] Eh he he, ow, eh he he ow, [snorts] WHOOAAOOH! And it's all my fault. Carl Otis Winslow: Yeah, bring me a slice. Lt. Murtaugh: No, because I brought him back. Rachel Crawford: Honey, how long were you in there? Cop: It's also against the law. Lt. Murtaugh: They're sending in that Urkel kid. I'll take this up later with the Lieutenant. Carl Otis Winslow: That boy is Looney Tunes. Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: He must've been dangerous. Laura: How long have we known each other? Rachel Crawford: Thanks Steve. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Harriette, stupid means good. Would you like that? You would win the gold. Steve Urkel: A little? We're getting dirty looks from old people! Trying to cover it up would only make it worse. So I walked in the library, sugar, I couldn't believe my eyes, there were THOUSANDS of books just sitting there waiting to be read. Old money has more wrinkles! Mondo do du chok! The wind has chapped my lips. Carl Otis Winslow: Richie, I get the money back if the helmet breaks. 36 Steve Urkel ideas | steve urkel, humor, funny Steve Urkel 36 Pins 11y N Collection by Nadia Hussein Similar ideas popular now Humor Funny Funny Quotes Chemistry Humor Nerd Humor Funny Charts When You Cant Sleep Lol Bahaha Clean Humor I Love To Laugh True Stories How To Fall Asleep Funny Jokes All the TIME!!!! Stefan Urkelle: [Fed up with Carl Urkel annoying him constantly] That's it, go home! Steve is embarrassed that he didn't walk out the door faster. I'll just begin a rigorist-training schedule. Steve Urkel: Uh no. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: [talking to Chondra in the bar about Maxine] Aww, yeah, she's a sweetheart but if she caught us in here together she'd rip off your arm and beat me with it. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: I'll bet that's what the bug was thinking, too! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Laura, I kept this ring in hopes that one day you would accept it. Steve Urkel: I just called my uncle at the Pentagon. Stupid? Steve Urkel: I've got an Uncle Dirk Urkel who was blessed with a two-foot long nose hair. [Urkel is playing Danny Boy on his Swiss Melody Chimes and Carl is furiously awaken by it. Steve Urkel: And I'm Steve Urkel! Carl Otis Winslow: 150 extra people on what should've been a small family affair. White . Laura Lee Winslow: He didn't need to. Harriette Winslow: I know. "You're like Pringles; once I pop you, I can't stop you." 6. Oh, I see. I can't think of a single reason not to do this every week. Laura Lee Winslow: Well I guess Steve was practicing his accordion. SUBSCRIBE to get the latest. The black kids won't talk to the white kids, people are calling each other names, taking sides! Laura: Curtis, I got my hair done, my nails. My parents would only take Steve if Steve's parents promised to take me. Why, a few sessions on the Muscle Master and you'll be drooling over my deltoids. Harriette Winslow: Mother Winslow, take all the toddlers up to your room. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [Steve as Stefan] Steve? [goes to the refrigerator] No root beer? Carl Otis Winslow: [trying to scoop the ashes back into the urn] Lord, forgive me if I come up a foot short! Steve Urkel: Come on everybody, let's ooh the durkel! I'm being born! So, if I tell him I don't remember him, I'll look like a jerk and I still won't remember him. Eddie: I'm the one who's taking the test. [laughs]. Carl Otis Winslow: Harriette, I just feel so helpless! Aunt Oona: Well not good, my kitchen exploded. You're taking me out for dinner at Chez Josephine's. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: It's a tradition in the Urkel family to not consummate the marriage for three months. Carl Otis Winslow: I understand that. Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: Bye. No. Clarence has under control. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: It was Jan Matzeliger, in 1883. OGD now knows the police aren't enemies]. And it will also think of a range of mistakes, not just the standard fare of stats guys everywhere: the disastrous trade up. The Urkel mock will think bigger in potential screw-ups for teams that have valued assets poorly in the past than for teams that have made few mistakes. Judy Winslow: Who wants to read about cheese? I'll be in all the videos. Steve Urkel: [Climbs over the balcony and falls] Oh! Some of our pickup lines are real-life applicable. The lovestruck genius of Steve Urkel. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Who do you think bought his first pair of shoes? Ty: No, he's Eddie's brother. Laura: [Long pause] Your looks. Steve Urkel: Oh great! Steve Urkel: Practice. They help move along our sentences. I can see my dad! [puts his thumb as his mouth, baby voice] If I were five. Nick Neidermeyer: Do I have to remind you who you're talking to? "Tomorrow, Dad!" You've got twenty-four hours to drop out of the race or we publish the picture. Urkel defeats him]. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Dad, cash is so impersonal. Myrtle Urkel: Frankly my dear, I just don't give a damn. Ms. Steuben: Yeah, well Steven, you're not taking Home Ec. Originally slated to be a one-time-only character on the show, he broke out to be its most popular character and gradually became its protagonist. Steve Urkel: Uh, Eddie, is this a bad time? Now, I'm gonna give you a compliment. Like a moth to a flame. [Carl hits the mantel] Carl. Harriette Winslow: Laura, you've had your head in those books all morning, got a big test coming up? Carl Otis Winslow: Oh nothing, never mind! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: But you can't fire Waldo, he's our friend. Steve Urkel: Sh-she touched me, Carl! See more ideas about steve urkel, humor, urkel. "I heard you are looking for a stud. 7. Get up and get your own pie! I'm in this class. Laura: Steve Urkel, you are the most annoying human being that I have ever met! Why she is woman, hear me roar. But, you're a teacher, Ms. Steuben, and a daaarrn good one. He doesn't have the advantages to see how good the cops are like our kids have. Steve Urkel: My Blood pressure. Harriette Winslow: [Waldo crashes his snowmobile in the Winslows' living room] Waldo? And, my God, look what you've done to Waldo. Laura: For the last time, Steve. Poor Laura has worked so hard and now she has to drop out of the race. Actor Jaleel White, famous for his cultural touchstone role as Steve Urkel in Family Matters, is entering the cannabis industry.Through a partnership with 710 Labs, White's new cannabis line . Clarence: [walking into the Winslow house] Well if it ain't the Partridge family. Carl Otis Winslow: Two stalks of broccoli and three pieces of asparagus? Carl Otis Winslow: I recognized him right away. Harriette: [unsympathetic] Yes! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [last lines of the series] Do I get a welcome home kiss? So to see if he can find the best, Steve challenged a few men to put their usuals to the test!SUBSCRIBE to get t. Well, that's gonna stop right now! This is my grandmother's wedding and $1500. Laura: Girl, have you ever seen the hair salon so crowded? Can you carry me home? CNN Actor Jaleel White is joining the growing list of celebrities who have launched a cannabis brand. Harriette Winslow: Carl, out first table was next to the entrance where everybody was waiting to be seated. Eddie: No, Kyle's gone solo and Jerry went with him. Laura Lee Winslow: No it wasn't. Wha? Why would anybody want to kill her? Just blacked out for a second there! Carl Otis Winslow: I told him I was taking him over to see you. Harriette: Don't even think like that. Waldo: I got close once. Harriette Winslow: Carl, those are my personal and private thoughts. Anybody have more punch? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: My uncle, Elijah Urkel, has been struck by lightning four times. [heads for the stairs - Carl grabs him by his suspenders] I almost got ya there, Carl. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Well I for one am appalled. Your dad's runnin' late. Laura Lee Winslow: Did they let you take one? Waldo Geraldo Faldo: But you humilate me everyday. [takes note and crumbles it, Laura slams locker door, revealing the word 'N*gger' spray painted on it]. "Tomorrow Dad!" Steve Urkel: I can't believe this! Was it fair that you stood your father up for bowling? Steve Urkel: That's because you don't know what it's like being small. Carl Otis Winslow: After you left, I saw your boy Fresh Squeeze at the door. Do you have any idea how much you changed him? Inside this scrawny chest, there beats a heart. So they picked up all out stuff and moved us again. I can't even tell her it won't ever happen again! This could be an emergency and I'm not even dressed yet! Whoo! 6. I do not like 30 people hanging around my shoulder, saying "Hey Senora, can you eat a little faster?". Carl Otis Winslow: [More excitedly] Yes, ma'am! Laura, please. Steve Urkel: Don't panic, my love! Rachel Crawford: When the paramedics got there, they thought SIXTY-SEVEN people had died! Laura Lee Winslow: Did you get any sleep? Steve Urkel: Oh, I'd better lock it then! He left the minute we put a warrant up for his arrest. Steve Urkel: [as Waldo hands Steve a cup of the spiked punch] Why should I Laura, I'm the pife of the larty! Rachel Crawford: I'm what? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Good answer! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Freddy Krueger! Waldo Geraldo Faldo, Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Cheating? [Calls Laura's Cell and gets OGD instead]. Harriette Winslow: Are your parents happy with the new you? Carl Otis Winslow: Well guess what Harriet, it's not empty. Robbins: Hey everyone, Laura Winslow's date is Steve Urkel. Steve Urkel: Oh, why not? He did for suspenders in the 1990s what Robin Williams' Mork from "Ork" did in the 1980s - he made them cool. Steve Urkel: Hi everybody! That's Lt. Murtaugh. Can't see a darn thing. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Where are we going, Willie? Not name your state. Or was it yellow? Laura Lee Winslow: Oh you're not a sorority, you're a bunch of vicious, stuck up barracudas with teased hair and push up bras. You don't want to get fried. Steve Urkel: Oh, I am so glad you said that! Oh, yes it is! Steve Urkel: I have a lot of personal experience in first aid. I"m going to the mall to hand out gifts to orphans kids. Will you marry me? Steve Urkel: Laura! I'm getting dizzy. [laughs]. Laura: [Curtis is about to break bad news to Laura] Curtis! I'm wearing a Bart Simpson's mug. Steven Quincy "Steve" Urkel: [is chased and hides behind a jock] Hold me back, hold me back. I wish I'd never done it. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Yeah, you have to use bleach. The hot chocolate will be ready soon. I only got the date wrong on one flyer. Harriette Winslow: For my birthday, you bought me an exercise trampoline. Steve Urkel: Mmm, steak. Harriette Winslow: [grabbing Carl's hair] Carl [Takes her hand away, looking at it before placing it on top of his head instead]. Steve Urkel. 11 days ago. His relationship with Eddie was usually better than with Carl and Laura. What is the value of X? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: The Snooze Juice. She just slipped and I caught her. Harriette Winslow: You can't blame them for walking, Eddie. All the pins look like Laura! He woke me up too. Steve Urkel: [points to Eddie] His words, not mine. Carl Otis Winslow: Edward Arthur Winslow, son I'm ashamed of you. [Grabs and kisses her. Well it's not cool. Steven Quincy Urkel: Look, you've got this big bed. *You're* gonna sleep in the bathtub! Laura: Not when the bomb is in the basement with you! And what about the car show last Saturday? Steve Urkel: Why? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: That stinks. Steve Urkel: I have a spectacular evening planned! Curtis: I know you're disappointed. Sergeant Shishka: Urkel, Winslow, you are not on my list of new recruits. Eddie: [after he has heard her quickly renouncing her love for him] Myrtle, what's my life going to be like without you in it? Eddie: Man, I don't have time to study. Then there's in the summer, when we use him as a human bug zapper. Ms. Steuben: Uh, excuse us just a minute. Steve Urkel: Boyd whipped Eddie. He's a very large man who should be here any minute now. Carl Otis Winslow: [to himself] That's just was well because we might not be allowed to go back into that restaurant again. Big guys have never played keep away with your hat on a cold day. I'm telling you straight out, I hate this. I realize the reason you don't love me is because I'm weak. Maybe abrasive is the wrong word. Harriette Winslow: [retrieves a coupon from her purse] Ohhh no no no, Carl! But honey, let's put a positive spin on it. Steve Urkel: Well, actually, this is Eddie's story. Maybe a better word is Loud. I've got the STD, all I need is U." 3. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: [nervous laughter] Great Wedding, huh dad. You may be my boss, but that does not give you the right to come into my home and be obnoxious to my husband and his friends. right next to the bathroom. Carl was his horse. Rachel Crawford: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! We'll start with a common Korean phrase. You trifled with my emotions! Laura Lee Winslow: [in tears] Daddy, everything's a mess! He couldn't cover his head with his hat. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Oh that's sweet, what did he say? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Laura, when I was about your age, I LOVED to read, just like you. ABC/Warner Bros Remember Steve Urkel? So, is it all right with you? You see, I use verbs. Eddie: Oh no, I forgot all about the car show. Steve Urkel: [to Carl] They actually give this guy bullets? Would you care to heal them with a kiss? Laura: Steve, you like this kind of music? Instead of cool, it was set on Nerd. [Pulls him into a hug]. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Then, you'll need a wide-angle lense. this is when Urkel was the funniest, when he was youngest, seasons 1 & 2. Harriette Winslow: She's still pretty upset, she wouldn't even touch her dinner. You should've seen the look on his face when he saw five officers surrounded my car and said Surprise! So one day I decided to do something about it. [Steve comes out of the freezer at Rachel's Place shivering]. I wanna take it home and read it to my mom. Yesterday Richie and 3J were playing 'Nick and Carl'. Laura Lee Winslow: I know, but he said 'get lost, Laura'. Does that about cover it? Steve Urkel: I had my first allergy attack when I was nine. Harriette Winslow: So what you're saying is it's full. [music abruptly stops] Look at yourselves. Waldo Faldo: Be careful he has another one. Carl Otis Winslow: Harriette, they applauded when we left. Steve Urkel: [while Laura and Maxine hit Steve with two Boston Cream Pies] No, AAH!, WAAAH! Carl Otis Winslow: Tell me Harriet, before I left for work this morning, did I or did I not tell Edward to empty the trash can? Steven Quincy Urkel (generally known as Steve Urkel or just simply Urkel) is a fictional character on the ABC/CBS sitcom, Family Matters, who was portrayed by Jaleel White. It's late. Steve Urkel on CBS? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: All the way home, and the next day I cried all the way back to the library. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: [sympathetically] Eddie, Carl was just about your age when he lost his dad. Laura Lee Winslow: [reading note] 'If you want black history, go back to Africa'. Oh, you're a sore for sight eyes! Waldo: I said he Hey, you can't trick me! Maxine Johnson: Ooh Laura, you look good. There's no justification for this behavior! So they picked up all our stuff and moved us. He held operations in Chicago. Steve Urkel: But, I told you. Laura Lee Winslow: Hey, my locker's open! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Willie Makeit? Would you reward me with a kiss? You understand? Pass the salt, Edward. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: What? Steve Urkel: Whoa. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: [reveals his empty jacket] He meant the booze that came out of my jacket. Laura: We're not going anywhere. Waldo: Man, they didn't even know who we were. Anywhere away from my Laura. Now hit the sack. Steve Urkel: Well, Laura doesn't want a date with me. Carl Otis Winslow: That's right, that petition was a great idea. Carl Otis Winslow: There was an E.Coli scale in the chocolate and I tasted a few to make sure the box was safe. Laura Lee Winslow: [as Laura Wigglesworth, pointing a gun at Johnny] The narration to finish! I can teach you how to cook. Steve Urkel: Well, because it's different. Steve Urkel: Oh, Gosh golly, Jeepers Creepers. And you got LOUDER every time you made the Maitre D move us to another table. You showed me a picture of your dog. I don't ever want to go to that restaurant again. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Uh, uh isn't this the Zorro audition? Carl Otis Winslow: March 24th, Raoul's houseboat is beautiful. Ha ha! It's the closest I'll ever get to marrying you- thats why I wanted you to have this- no strings attached- just the one to my heart. This has never happened before. Remember you wished that Steve could find out what's it like to be you. While a miserable Eddie has to play checkers with Steve. Carl Otis Winslow: Oh gee that'd scare me. Steven Quincy Urkel: Gee, I don't know, the speedometer only goes to thirty. Laura Lee Winslow: Yeah, that's right, how'd you know? Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: You all right, Mr.W, [he teaches Carl how to handshake in his neighborhood. Laura: I mean it, Waldo. Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: Serious. I'm wearing a Bart Simpson's mug. Steve Urkel: From my stay-away fund. Eddie: I'm sorry, Steve. Ken: You make me wanna puke! The nuptuals have developed a slight snafu. Carl Otis Winslow: No. Steve Urkel: Oh, Laura, my love. Steve Urkel: Oh, I see. Three times X equals six. How would you like it if I put Jheri Curl in your deodorant? Harriette Winslow: Carl, you snuck into my card box and gave me a card that I already have. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: What'cha gonna do, Willie? Sorry I'm late, but I got my tongue stuck in the printing press. "No mo giet itsu mana! Laura: Well, then not even in your dreams. That's the last time I do anything for anybody in this house. Steven Quincy Urkel: Don't interrupt me! I mean we've made contributions to this country for over 300 years, but you wouldn't know it looking at most history books, it's not fair. Carl: You know, the only thing worse than not catching any fish is hearing you sing about it. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I have been scared straight, I saw a guy who had a tattoo of a battleship. Laura: Doth thou love me? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: I got one of those once, did you know the sidewalk isn't a passing lane? Carl, Eddie: [after Carl gets shocked from the electrical current] STEVE! Stefan Urkelle: I'll have to buy new parts for the chamber. You mother once tried bean bags. Rachel Crawford: Steve, are you sure you're okay? There's lots of reasons why I don't love you. What's up? Myra Monkhouse: I rearranged the chamber. [does Steve's laugh and snort]. You've been saying it for weeks. Rachel Crawford: Well at least we know where it is. A minor Betty Crocker boo boo. Carl Otis Winslow: Why not try the truth! You dumped one of my relatives in a Hefty bag. Lady in Strip Club: Shut up and shake your booty! Got anything in the fridge? Steven Quincy Urkel: Come on, yeast! Lt.Murtaugh: Do you know that woman Winslow? Harriette: [sobbing] Clint is driving off and Meryl will never see him again! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Wrong, cummerbund breath. Harriette Winslow: Carl, I save every card you give me. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: The refrigerator. Laura Lee Winslow: I'm not sure what day is this? Steve Urkel: Laura, suppose I arrange for you to meet Johnny Gill personally. Her temperature shot up and she tossed more cookies than the Keebler elf. Eddo. Waldo: Yeah, but I was so nervous when I asked her out that before she could answer, I barfed all over her shoes. You're my friend. Laura: Urkel, don't your parents feed you? Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Cheating is wrong, Eddie, and you should know that. To rob and murder? [Carl steps in the chamber and Stefan starts it up]. Why can't we share? Steve Urkel: Oh, no I'm not. Laura: But but, where'd you get that radioactive stuff? Uh, Curtis. Reading, 'Riting and Racism? His parents were very upset. Cassie Lynn: All's fair in love and politics. [Eddie agrees as Mother Winslow and Harriette walks out of the living room]. And I hear myself telling her the same things my mother told me. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Laura, I know that I'm not worthy of you, but I just can't help loving you. Waldo Faldo: Why are ya gonna do that, Willie? Eddie: I don't see what getting beat up is gonna prove. Laura Lee Winslow: Nope, this is Black History Month. You're standing on my finger! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I'm not dreaming anymore. Waldo: Hey, you don't have to like my cookin', but, please, don't call me names! Laura Lee Winslow: Most people don't know that. Steve Urkel: [after discovering that the stereo in Eddie's car has had its serial number scratched off] Uh-uh. And even then I knew it wasn't right. I know how you feel about Laura. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: [after pulling his underpants out of his jeans] Sir, would you do me the honor of autographing my boxer shorts? Waldo: Don't do it, Urkel! White, known for playing Steve Urkel on the 1990s sitcom "Family Matters," is. Urkelbot: [sneaks up behind the robber and surprises him] Freeze! Carl Otis Winslow: Hey sweetheart, how about some pie? Steve Urkel: Why, to make everyone think that the woman I love actually loves me back? In Season 1 he was a supporting character and made his first appearance as a background character in Rachel's First Date and had his first major role in "Laura's First Date", however as of Season 2 he was officially considered a main character . No one's ever called you 'shrimp'. Carl: Who are you and what have you done with our son? Boyd Higgins: Name's Boyd Higgins, but ym friends call me Buck! [the car breaks down. We only have to make one quick delivery. Steve Urkel: You know, every time you laugh you burn off three and a half calories? Third, if you touch me at any time, the "non-date" is over. Laura Lee Winslow: [Urkel voice] Seasons Greetings, Winslows! Look, I love you with all my heart, but just because you don't love me back doesn't give you the right to treat me like dirt!
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